A New Years Wish

Blessed are the Peacemakers

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.  Of the increase of his government and peace there will be no end. Isaiah 9:6

So here we are, some 2000 years since the coming of the prophesied Christ, the Prince of Peace. We've just celebrated the birth of the Christ child, gathered with family and friends, feasted and indulged in commercialism to our hearts (dis)content. Still there is no peace. Where is the foretold peace? In every nook and cranny of the world there is violence and/or war, as there always has been. Humanity's struggle for dominance continues on, blood is shed, lives are senslessly lost. 

Jesus Christ spoke the simple words "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called children of God," yet we remain ignorant of our part in this peaceful kingdom. Have we misunderstood? Have followers of Christ believed the lie that violent means and weaponry can keep us protected and secure? Is not Christ, the Prince of Peace, our rod and staff, our promised Protector? Oh, that we would only believe it and act on it. Many Christians await the return of Christ where he rides in, sets everything right and restores the earth, justice and peace, but what if it's God's intent for us to do it, right here, right now? There are of course Christians who want to establish a Christian nation designed to mandate and enforce Old Testament morality to the masses, but how about we just stick with love, peace, justice and mercy?

What if we went  about building that invisible Kingdom of love, peace and justice that Christ spoke of that's already in our midst? Let's let the light of Divine love and peace shine from our lives. We may not be able to change the whole world with this effort, but we can effect change in our spheres of influence, it grows from there. 

Lord Christ, Prince of Peace, infuse us with your Divine peace and love, give us an understanding of what peace really means, in our faith, our hearts, lives and in our world. Help us to imagine peace and live in peace. In Your Holy Name, So be it. 

Hope.... Hold On, Pain Eases...

When you are grieving, sometimes having hope simply means the holding onto the belief that one day your pain will ease, a belief that you won't always have the heart shredding, debilitating pain that you currently live with. Sometimes hope is simply believing that one day things will be better.

Even though you might not feel any hope or progress in feeling better as you are grieving, just know that if you actively work through your grief one day at a time, the pain will ease over time. Don't be mistaken, grief is work. It's not just a feeling or a concept. It's a process that you engage and work through. Every tear, every written word, every spoken word, every book and article read, every visit to the cemetery, every candle lit, every interaction in a grief group, every sad song tearfully sung, every moment spent looking at pictures in photo albums, every act of creation that is driven by your sorrow, you are working through your grief. It doesn't feel healing, but one day it will be noticeable to you that the pain is not as intense, that you can breathe easier and smile without gut wrenching pain.

Try to not focus on being healed of grief, rather consider it a success at the end of each day if you've done something to honor your grief. Grief, after all, is our outward expression of love towards the one/ones we are missing so desperately. Please hold on, in time the pain eases. 

One Year Since Sandy Hook, Gun Mania Still Rampant in America

Today marks one year since the Sandy Hook school shooting massacre. I've been reading news stories as of late about gun laws being looser today than than they were a year ago. It seems that a small handful of states of have made better laws, but the majority of those that took action, did so by making guns easier to get. 

This fact just me want to cry for the children of this nation. When did our ideology become so twisted that our right to bear arms became more important than the safety of our most vulnerable citizens, our children. Are we so fear driven that we really believe that an assault rifle can save us from any impending government doom? 

I am for our right to bear arms in the USA, though I absolutely hate guns and gun violence, I support our right to own them. I do however, long to see a return to common sense concerning guns. If you have guns, lock them up, don't let your kids handle them or even have access to them. On the scale of society we need gun reform so desperately. I have written my government representatives about it and I hope you will too if you haven't before. If you have, thank you, keep up the good work. 

We must remember this tragedy beyond this heart wrenching anniversary and take appropriate action in our personal lives, as communities and as a society. Speak out for gun control on online forums, speak out to your friends and family. If we can't get rid of guns, we can at least raise consciousness on what we can do to keep them locked and secure in gun cabinets and out of the hands of the mentally unwell and/or potential gunmen. I think we owe at least that to the children and adult victims who died looking down the barrel of an assault rifle. 

God help us as a nation to lose our gun obsession and put our children and vulnerable citizens first. Amen.  

How to Help a Grieving Loved One During the Holidays

Twelve Practical Tips for Saying, Doing the Right Things 

While many people look forward to yearly holiday traditions, gatherings with family and friends and the general good feelings associated with the season, some people dread the holidays. For those who have lost a loved one during the past year, the holidays may emphasize their grief.

The holidays, especially the first ones after losing a loved one, are especially difficult for people who are grieving. Often, friends and family members of those affected by a loss are unsure how to act or what to say to support their grieving loved one during the holidays.   

  

Here are some suggestions:  

1. Be supportive of the way the person chooses to handle the holidays. Some may wish to follow traditions; others may choose to change their rituals. Remember, there is no right way or wrong way to handle the holidays.
2. Offer to help the person with baking and/or cleaning. Both tasks can be overwhelming for one trying to deal with raw emotions.
3. Offer to help him or her decorate for the holidays.
4. Offer to help with holiday shopping or give your loved one catalogs or on-line shopping sites that may be helpful.
5. Invite the person to attend a religious service with you and your family.
6. Invite your loved one to your home for the holidays.
7. Help your loved one prepare and mail holiday cards.
8. Ask the person if he or she is interested in volunteering with you during the holiday season. Doing something for someone else, such as helping at soup kitchens or working with children, may help your loved one feel better about the holidays.
9. Donate a gift or money in memory of the person’s loved one. Remind the person that his or her special person is not forgotten.
10. Never tell someone that he or she should be “over it.” Instead, give the person hope that, eventually, he or she will enjoy the holidays again.
11. If he or she wants to talk about the deceased loved one or feelings associated with the loss, LISTEN. Active listening from friends is an important step to helping him or her heal. Don’t worry about being conversational…. just listen.
12. Remind the person you are thinking of him or her and the loved one who died. Cards, phone calls and visits are great ways to stay in touch. 

In general, the best way to help those who are grieving during the holidays is to let them know you care. They need to be remembered, and they need to know their loved ones are remembered, too. Local hospice grief counselors emphasize that friends and family members should never be afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing, because making an effort and showing concern will be appreciated. 

Many people are not aware that their community hospice is a valuable resource that can help people who are struggling with grief and loss. Hospices provide bereavement support to the families they serve and often offer services to other members of the community as well.

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From the National Hospice Foundation and the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization
caringinfo.org

True To Who I Am

The issue of authenticity is a big one in matters of faith community. Many times our belief system calls us to be sanctified or perfect (so we think). Many of us who came from fundamentalist or legalistic backgrounds as Christians were taught to act religious. In doing so, we put on our Super Christian masks and went to church. Acting for several hours a week as our "perfect" selves. We then tried for the rest of our week to remain perfect, most often failing quite bad as we tried to walk the chalk. The failure then leading us to self-condemnation, disillusionment, and at worst, depression.

As a belief system begins to evolve, we realize that we're fooling no one, especially God. Showing our authentic selves is scary, very revealing and difficult at first. We may face rejection. It's okay, so did Jesus. It's believed by many progressive people of faith that sanctification is a lifelong process, not something that happens automatically when you get "saved," like many fundamentalist branches believe. The scripture that says "be ye perfect" is actually frequently mis-translated from the original Greek text that said, "teleios," which means perfect, but not in the way that we think of the word perfect today. It meant, mature, complete, whole. It did not refer to a sinless state or absolute earthly perfection. Big differences will happen to your theology when you understand this. It frees us to be our more authentic, spiritually evolving selves. To just be.

The bottom line is "BE". Be you, be authentic, be real, be whole, be the best you can be in this moment, be loving, be kind, just BE! When we are true to who we are, we become the change we want to see in ourselves and in the world around us. 

Good Friday Devotional: Reflections on Compassion for the Hopeless

My Good Friday devotional as published in the 40 Days of Lent Devotions by The God Article.  

By now it was noon. The whole earth became dark, the darkness lasting three hours—a total blackout. The Temple curtain split right down the middle. Jesus called loudly, “Father, I place my life in your hands!” Then he breathed his last. When the captain there saw what happened, he honored God: “This man was innocent! A good man, and innocent!”
All who had come around as spectators to watch the show, when they saw what actually happened, were overcome with grief and headed home. Those who knew Jesus well, along with the women who had followed him from Galilee, stood at a respectful distance and kept vigil. Luke 23:44-49 (The Message)

Good Friday. The day that Christians around the world observe the death of Jesus. The day that a man who was said to be God in the flesh was crucified and died like a common human. Not just a common human, but a criminal. Christ was crucified for standing up to the religious leaders of his culture and speaking out against their hypocrisy. Christ claimed His Divine relationship with God and rebuked the Pharisees in the name of their own God that they believed they were representing.

This Jesus who died on the cross was the Friend of the outcast. The Champion of the downtrodden. The God of the average human experience. The Advocate for justice that the people had been waiting for. Many believed He was the Messiah. 

When He died on the cross that day, the people were filled with grief, defeated, hopeless. Today as we observe Good Friday, let us feel that defeated hopelessness that the spectators felt that horrific Friday. Let us feel it because it is often the everyday emotional condition of the homeless, the poor, the sick, the wounded, the helpless, the ones who are victims of injustice, those who are grieving loved ones they have lost, those who Christ cared so much for when He walked the earth. Let us enter into their suffering even for one short day, so that we may feel greater compassion for them, as Christ modeled for us in word and deed. May we remember that Christ is not only in us, but in the ones we reach out to in love.

Lord Christ, teach us to have compassion on those who are hurting, those who are grieving, those who are hungry, those who need justice. Let us be Your hope, Your hands, Your love, Your words to them in our daily deeds. May those who meet us never head home in grief, but go away from us with hope and love rekindled. Lord, let us see You in all people. In your Holy and Loving Name, So Be It.

One Thing You Can't Hide

Modern churchianity often encourages people to bury their emotional wounds and deny their mental illnesses in lieu of having faith and letting God whisk your past away. However, this doesn't actually work for a lot of people. Sometimes therapy or other treatments are required to get mentally and emotionally healthy. Please do not let your faith keep you from seeking help if you need it. This is not a lack of faith, it's wisdom. Yes, miracles can happen and a person may be healed instantly, but if you are still struggling with depression, suicidal fixation, self-harm or other issues, please seek professional help. Many times, God uses people, including professionals to be His hands in the healing process. Please, whatever you do, don't try to hide when you're hurting inside.

Help! A Meditation on Helping

It's in our human nature to need help. It's in our Divine nature to help. People on both the receiving end and giving end are always changed by the interaction. Has your life ever been touched by helping or being helped?

Bad Churchianity Advice of Epic Proportions

Modern churchianity encourages people to bury their emotional wounds and deny their mental illnesses in lieu of having faith and letting God whisk your past away. However, this doesn't actually work for alot of people. Sometimes therapy or other treatments are required to get mentally and emotionally healthy. Please do not let your faith keep you from seeking help if you need it. This is not a lack of faith, it's wisdom.

It makes me so sad to post the following from Joel. I used to like his positive thinking version of the Good News, but often times positive thinking alone doesn't cut it when you're suffering and wounded. Many times people relive hurts because their soul is in dire need of healing from a trauma, you cannot just "change the channel" on that. Tisk tisk on church leaders who discourage people getting help outside of the church..

The following is my response on Joel Osteen's flippant advice for the wounded that he posted today on his Facebook page.



 



  

The Cry of An Innocent

Echos of A Life Cut Short by Senseless Hate

A friend of mine wrote and shared this tragic story recently in a private Facebook group I'm in. I am sharing this with her permission. Pardon the graphic wording and nature of this short but true tale. This is why we MUST strive to make this world a better place.

Sara wrote:

I just looked at the date and realized that tomorrow is the 31-year anniversary of one of the most formative days of my life. Late January 1981, I was in downtown New Orleans with my two best friends Denise and Charlie. Charlie was a 16-year-old gay boy. We had just left a show at the Saenger theater and were crossing Canal Street when we were confronted by a group of three (apparent) skinheads. They began taunting us, calling Charlie a faggot and Denise and me dykes and fag hags. They began to push Charlie around and started to beat him. We first tried to fight them off but these were older and bigger people. Charlie was screaming for us to get help. We ran off to the Sheraton to call for help. We went back out a few minutes later to find Charlie bleeding and unconscious in the median. He died less than an hour later without ever regaining consciousness.

I tell you this story so that you can understand my passionate feelings on hate. This is the reason why I didn't fit into fundamentalism. Every time I see institutional hate, I hear the screams of my young friend. He died without ever knowing love. His sin, I can't seem to find. Please know that when you hear institutional homophobia that you have to fight it! It kills. Fight it for Charlie, fight it for me. Fight it for you! Most of all, fight it so the world can be a better place for your children one day.

Fundamentally Wrong Abuses in "The Church"

I was recently a contributor to this blog, published by The God Article, a point of view piece based on this video. My original writing is below.

 

As a person who grew up in a fundamentalist Christian setting, spiritual abuses in the Church are of great concern to me because many of my peers who grew up in the same setting were abused as children and teens. Many of them became suicidal or began a life of self-harm. What troubles me even more is this spiritual abuse is still happening at an alarming rate, as evidenced by this video and by other stories surfacing on nearly a weekly basis, including the Independent Fundamentalist Baptist scandal in Hammond, Indiana which has gained national attention in the past year.

More and more, churches and pastors are being exposed as abusers and often times children and teens are the victims. Our society questions why good Christians are leaving the church in droves -- well, this is one very evident reason for it. Scriptures are frequently taken out of context, as the Fairhaven pastor has done with the "he who spareth the rod spoileth his child" verse, which is clearly meant as a directive for parents, not a verse endorsing public humiliation and church community corporal punishment. This activity is not of God and these people are deceived. Using scripture to verbally abuse and humiliate is a form of spiritual and emotional abuse. Indeed, it is a form of bullying which destroys instead of heals.

If you are in a situation where you suspect that you or your child are being bullied in a church environment, please seek counsel outside of the church to verify your suspicions. God is not an abusive bully nor should His representatives be. There are plenty of pastors and churches that do not practice this style of abusive, fundamentalist "churchianity".

As the evolution of the Body of Christ continues, we will see more and more of the desperate and dysfunctional branches dying off, in the process people will be exposed for their abuses against the flock. There are still good and loving bodies of believers where healing and wholeness are possible and God's love is practiced. May we all be vigilant to speak up against this insidious spiritual abuse of God's children.

Imagine Peace and Love

Imagine there's no heaven

It's easy if you try

No hell below us

Above us only sky

Imagine all the people

Living for today...

Imagine there's no countries

It isn't hard to do

Nothing to kill or die for

And no religion too

Imagine all the people

Living life in peace...

You may say I'm a dreamer

But I'm not the only one

I hope someday you'll join us

And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions

I wonder if you can

No need for greed or hunger

A brotherhood of man

Imagine all the people

Sharing all the world...

You may say I'm a dreamer

But I'm not the only one

I hope someday you'll join us

And the world will live as one

John Lennon