A FB Discourse by Jill Jacobs and Jeremy Lape on the above quote by Corrie ten Boom
Jeremy: Squirming here.
Jill: Why are you squirming?
Jeremy: It's the Corrie Ten Boom quote. Her talking about forgiveness is like Einstein saying, "Physics is easy."
Jill: I get what you're saying, I guess I've read her works and know that context she was stating that in. She was discussing the actual decision to forgive someone before you actually felt the feelings. Alot of times that's where forgiveness starts...with the decision before the actual feeling.
Jeremy: I know, and few people have suffered more, forgiven more, than her.
Jill: I guess out of context it wouldn't make good sense, like the "let go and let God" advice to survivors of the horrific.
Jeremy: Horrific suffering. But she is a Gold Medal Olympic forgiver. No, it is exactly the context that her statement amplifies her words!
Jill: See, I view forgiveness as process. I was actually working on a blog about that a bit ago that's not up yet. A decision, the grief, the examination of the pain, the asking God to help and healing, it's much like the grief process
Jeremy: She raises the bar so high on forgiving those who harm us that the best we can do is limbo under it and pretend it's not a hurdle to clear.....yes, but she is like Mother Theresa loving the lepers. YOU WANNA DO THAT???
Jill: I see it as something to aspire to though, not something to be challenged or discouraged by. I would love to have the love of Mother Theresa, she's a great hero of the faith....and no I don't want to work with lepers. So do you not think that people should be encouraged to decide to forgive until they feel the forgiveness first?
Jeremy: I know. You're right. In my ego-centric universe, I see everything as friend or foe. I am not worthy to carry Corrie Ten Boom's diary, or Mother Theresa's flying nun hat.
Jill: I have experienced forgiveness both ways, the decision first, feeling later and the other way around. Both work, and then there's the instances of forgiveness when you have to do it over and over and over again for the same thing.
Jeremy: Academically, I agree. Experimentally, it is not so cut and dried.
Jill: I agree
Jeremy: See, it's all about willingness. Or intention.
Jill: But everyone eventually has to come to the place where they choose to forgive something/someone, and I see the comment as, "you can do this independent of your feelings to kinda kick off the whole process." Imagine if we all sat around waiting for the feeling of forgiveness to hit us, sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn't. Then there's the complex issue of forgiving of oneself, ugh...that's a biggie
Jeremy: Yes, that is true. Forgiveness is a choice first, a feeling second. I know that. But right now, I don't choose to forgive certain fundamentalist leaders who are in trouble. Let alone have any feelings of sympathy or empathy for them. Effing lepers.
Jill: I agree, sometimes forgiveness isn't a viable option, as perpetrators need to see justice and be held accountable.
Forgiveness is a complex matter.
Lord Christ help us to discern when and how to forgive. So be it.